Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
