You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
