White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
