He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
