i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
how do flat chested girls get laid?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
