what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
