So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
