So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
