we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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