At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
