you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Your cock deserves a montage
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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