i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize
