What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
