Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
