in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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