Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
