I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
