JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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