I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
this just has baby written all over it
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
