I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
