It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Houston, we have a blender
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
