so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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