I need to stop coming to work sober
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
