wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
