All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
