I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm bleeding and have questions
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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