you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
