Too much gin, very little bucket
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
