I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
