turn off your phone and go to bed
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?