Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
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In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.