You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night