This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Edward fifth and chaser hands
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.