I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
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