I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
