We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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