is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
