We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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