The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
