im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
