I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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