Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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