They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
These tits shall not be calmed
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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