just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
