are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Is it because I queefed?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize