sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
