Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Randomize
