do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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