Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
