The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize