I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
