We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
