shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
