why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
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Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
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I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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