I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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