Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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