it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
