you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm too high and old for this...
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
