The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
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