I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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