oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
