Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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