Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
