the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
