I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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