So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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