I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
